Straight or Not? Still important?

Today’s a sad day for Ricky Martin’s female fan-following…. He’s finally admitted that he is, in fact, gay! :( Oh how my heart broke on hearing the news… But honestly speaking, how’s a girl to know whether a guy’s straight or not? Now don’t get me wrong… To all you gays out there, I’m with you guys all the way… You guys are really brave and courageous fellas to live in a biased world like ours. Unfortunately there are not enough sweet straight men for us girls to fall in love with, admire, flirt with, etc etc. And the few sweet guys that cross our path (or our “love that celebrity” path) turn out to be gay!

Now what are the tell-tale signs? If a guy is sweet does that mean he’s not in your playing field? A friend of mine told me that “if a guy can move his hips like Ricky Martin, there are chances he’s gay”. So if a guy can turn you on by “Shaking his bon-bon”, does that mean he should be crossed of your “will get naughty with” list?? Where’s the justice in that?! Dance is supposed to be full of passion and chemistry… How can it be that when you share such great levels of passion and chemistry with a guy, that there is a possibility he could be sharing it with another GUY~!!

N if it isn’t bad enough that we have to deal with figuring out whether the guy is straight or not… we now have the “bi’s”! Seriously?! You can now not only be shocked by the thought of your boyfriend asking to have a threesome with your girlfriend but mortified by him asking to have a foursome with your girlfriend AND ‘guyfriend’!!

It’s the 21st century and the world is getting easier to live in, so the scientists say! All the latest gadgets to help you cook, clean and even play…. Where’s the gadget to tell you who to love? And is that really a “modern world”? Or is it just time to ignore gender and go for whoever gels best with you? The latter definitely seems a better choice than waiting for a bot to answer your question “Hot or Not?”!

I guess the time for analyzing whether a person is gay or not, has passed. Thinking of dating someone?? Does he/she like the same things I do? Could we carry on a conversation for over 2 hours and not get bored? Am I attracted to him/her physically? If you can answer ‘YES’ to all the above, I say forget ‘playing fields’… Just go for it! If you think too much, you’ll just end up knotting yourself in the twists and turns of a pretzel!
Straight or not? Irrelevant question! The world is moving on… Are you moving on with it?

Are u blissfully ignorant? Or jus plain stupid??

Statuary Warning: The above title is a good insight on what the rest of the article is going to be. If you take offense easily, I suggest you leave now. It’s going to be an insult to the ignorant and the stupid.

*Disclaimer: ‘Stupid’ here refers to people with an attitude problem

Well, as I was skimming through my Twitter timeline this afternoon, I came across a very interesting ‘difference definition’. “The intrinsic difference between ignorance and stupidity is that ignorance simply implies lack of awareness about something, while stupidity denotes the inability of a person to understand something due to insufficient intelligence, thus leading to the misinterpretation of a fact.” (Referral link: http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-ignorance-and-stupidity/) This got me thinking – how many truly “stupid” people do I know? Are they really that stupid? Or are they ignorant? Or are they just feigning ignorance? Now why would anyone do the latter beats me…. But hey! I’m not here to judge! If you feel that you’re too smart for your own good and you have to (N I mean absolutely have to) make yourself look stupider…. Well that’s your call! But stop and think…. How many people have you met that you know for a fact are genuinely ignorant and stupid? N did being stupid get them anywhere?

Easy test….. go through your FB list…. You’re bound to find such idiots there! Well I’ve found quite a few stupid, ignorant people! I know I’ve just pointed out a major difference between the stupid and the ignorant… but I’m compelled to combine the two. The fact of the matter remains that the stupid are not willing to change their idiotic thinking – hence unable to come out of that ‘ignorant’ mould. It’s all just a vicious cycle – can you blame the stupid? It’s an in-built feature, or maybe an add-on (according to them)!

The thing with stupid people is no matter how intelligent you are, you can’t impart any knowledge to them. You’d rather tear your hair out and bang your head against a brick wall than argue logic with them. A logical, heated discussion would require sensible thinkers…. If you decide to argue with a “Homer Simpson”, you’re going to wanna use that nuclear plant to blow the bugger from here to Andromeda probably! (Or transport yourself there…. Depending on the number of “Homers” you’re arguing with!)


I feel sorry for the stupid sometimes… They are always under mistaken impressions… “I’m the best thing that could ever happen to you”, “I’m your only option”, “I’m the only one that can help you” and most importantly “You’ll never be as good as me!” Did it ever occur to you that… that’s exactly what we’re trying to do?? We work hard everyday, slave our asses off, just to make sure that we don’t excel in stupidity like you do! We, the sane race, try our best not to reach the levels of inanity attained by you!

I admire the stupid…. for the same reason! A stupid person can go through his/her entire life thinking that the functioning of the whole universe is based on his/her mere existence! I guess their slogans in life would be movies like “Back to the Future”! Michael J. Fox, as much as I love you(and that movie), I wouldn’t base my life on a movie or character like that…. No offense meant whatsoever!

I envy the stupid…. again for the same reason! They don’t have a care in the world! The universe is available to look after all their frivolous needs. Of course when the universe doesn’t (as is in most cases), they are still under the impression that their needs have been fulfilled – Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t recognize their needs as NEEDS! How can it when the stupid are living in a world of fantasy? So they don't even realize that the gratification process has not come about.

To those who want to banter about my point of view here, I say “STOP! STOP PRETENDING TO BE STUPID AND IGNORANT! You aren’t going to gain anything”. I say it with confidence, cos for the truly stupid, this article is an achievement because it acknowledges their expertise! It’s in their favor and praising them to the skies. They will have no issue with it… THAT is the confidence I have in their intelligence!

What’s all the “Buzz” about?!

“Kathy found a lonely black cow on her farm.”
“Kathy #1tweetbreakup i think we should start following other people...”
These are just examples of the umpteen feed updates and tweets on Facebook and Twitter respectively. We all know social media has stepped into this big bad world of ours quite sometime back … but now it seems to have found a cozy lil’ niche for itself where its settled quite comfortably. No matter what everyone says about it or how many fingers you wanna point at it, “Social Media” has something to say – And it’s screaming out from rooftops, “I’m here to stay!!” We’ve been through the works; hi5, MySpace, Facebook and the new kid in town, Twitter! But look out everybody, we all know how the famous Eagles song goes: “They will never forget you 'til somebody new comes along…. Jus another new kid in town…” Just as Twitter is peaking, along comes Google… taking a second shot at this new media which has everyone dancing to its tunes.

Google Buzz was launched yesterday claiming to have encorporated a whole bunch of exciting new features. It not only wants to contribute to the "race" of social networking sites… but wants to be at #1 combining features from Twitter, Yammer, Foursquare, Yelp, and the likes. It’s integrated with Flickr, Picasa, Google Reader, and Twitter for easy sharing of your fun moments. What’s more is that it has its mobile app up and running allowing you not only to post status msgs from your cellphone, but also automatically updating your status message with your location! Wow! Google’s back with a bang and they seem to be saying, “We mean business this time”! All the features of Google Buzz are described in great detail at http://techcrunch.com/2010/02/09/if-google-wave-is-the-future-google-buzz-is-the-present/... All thanks to MG Siegler.

Unfortunately, the Buzz is not yet spread all over this little town we like to call the Internet, but I’m hoping I don’t have to keep refreshing my Gmail much longer! Oh, that’s one more important thing I missed out on….. Buzz is available in your very own Gmail account… Jus below your inbox! It’s still in it’s initial stages so there are a lot more features in the “coming soon” phase but we know Google right? They became the #1 Search Engine and stayed there… Maybe they are planning something similar with their “re-try” at Social Media – the Google Buzz. Never know, it may just be the next “buzz” of your life (… as clichéd as that might sound ).

Here’s to Google Buzz – I wish it all the best in its new endeavours (Google if you’re reading this, pls activate it soon on my account); and more importantly, to Social Media – may you never go out of style!

Wake Up Call!

He came, he saw, he conquered! He flew, he drove and then rode on a local train… thus capturing the hearts of every sweet simple Mumbaiikar commuter! To the Thackerays – Bal, Uddhav and Raj – a wake up call for you…. Wake up and smell the coffee!! Your ‘dadagiri’ and ‘goondagiri’ politics is now a dying ember! The Marathis manoos has grown! Every time you fight for him you are isolating him from the rest of India and the world. He wants to be a part of this great nation! So why don’t you get the bigger picture? Your vitriolic comments only leave a distaste in your own mouths… so stop the wagging and start acting! Actions speak louder than words! When did you guys last travel by a local train? Its not violence that works but charm and charisma! Charismatic people know how to reach out and change hearts and minds! Show us your ‘jalwa’ now! Let’s see what you can do. Even the ‘vada pav’ guy knows that to survive, he needs to sell to a Bihari, Gujarati…. Not only to the Marathi Manoos! Get your act together and stop throwing your weight around! Mumbai is for all Indians in the same way as the rest of India is for you – if only you have the guts and the gall to travel.

The ordinary Marathi manoos wants to be economically sound and not socially exiled. He wants to explore his beautiful country and learn more about it – but apparently, you are trying to stifle him – thus hampering his progress. So how then can you be called the well-wishers of the Marathi manoos? Grow up men! Your violent threats – [which, by the way, you don’t carry out yourself] – are inadequate and meaningless in a lovely city like Mumbai! Rahul Gandhi has played ‘Truth and Dare’ with you and he has emerged victorious!

The “truth” being that you would make his visit ‘a Black Day’ in Mumbai. Well, sorry to burst your bubble – he made it a ‘red-letter day’! And the “dare” being, he entered your bastion – Dadar – and none of you could stop him or make him retract his steps! Furthermore, Mr. Uddhav Thackeray, you said he withdrew money from Mumbai – where do you think that money came from? Do you do anything to earn the money? Check out the pathetic state of your BMC schools – they’re in an appalling, abysmal condition!

And you call yourselves protectors? When you can’t even provide decent education to the economically backward. Go out there and work with the common man and then come and preach politics to the common man! You say Rahul Gandhi thinks Mumbai is a ‘milking cow’! Well well… a milking cow needs to be milked or else, it suffers discomfort. You are so lazy, you don’t even want to milk that cow!

Here’s to Mumbai and Mumbaiikars – let’s stand up for ourselves. Let’s not bow down to weak loudmouths and to Shahrukh Khan, we say – ‘Yes! Great going! Nothing can stop us from watchin your movie'.

To the police and the government machinery – an excellent job! You tried to curb the trouble makers; be there with us on Valentine’s Day too… 'coz the lunatic fringes will threaten, rant and rave again!

Boys & Their Toys

For all u CS fanatics out there, I know what you are thinking after seeing this pic…. “Time to go kill someone”! Oh God, how I’ve been TORTURED with hidden bombs and bots coming from nowhere and shooting…. Ahh, the good old college days! Now enough with the reminiscing… and those of you, who have not already stopped reading this, to go have World War 3 in Cyberspace; may find this article quite intriguing.

All the years I’ve watched boys play with their fancy armor and weapons (and the few years I’ve played with them myself), I have never really imagined that one day any of these hi-funda deathly machines would actually exist in our little world! To my pure shock, I came across an article today titled “10 Sci-Fi Weapons that Actually Exist by Aaron Rowe” (http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/01/sci-fi-weapons/6/). The above picture is one of the examples in that article. Now I’m not going to describe the technicalities of each instrument because Mr. Rowe has done a pretty good job at that. Hats off to him for his detailed explanation. However what really disturbed me was the fact that what was going on in our videogames was now creeping into reality. I’m sure all of us have seen umpteen shows and news tidbits on TV about how a videogame has had an adverse effect on a child trying to imitate the same thing in real life… but have any of us heard or really paid attention to the way cyborgs and their toys were affecting our big boys of the world? Apparently it’s a much bigger cause to worry about.

Don’t get me wrong here… I feel sorry for the kids who try to achieve impossible feats or for other kids traumatized by one who decides to bring a gun to school… but is our world ready for an entire nation or continent making a “flash bang grenade” or a “laser avenger”. These weapons are no longer in our comic books or video/computer games… they are at war – in use. There are no bots controlling them or dying with them – there are real people. Maybe they are terrorists, maybe they are civilians, maybe they are battling for peace, maybe they are children – maybe its your brother, your neighbor, the kid in your class you always secretly admired even though he stole your first place by one mark or the school’s biggest bully… Whoever it is, does it matter?! Does anyone deserve to die this way?

We say we are fighting for world peace – in what way, I ask? By building bigger, better machinery? Each nation is racing to “protect” itself and the politicians can get away with murder now by just using the right words! But the truth remains, it is from us that they get the strength to fight – the intelligence to build state-of-the-art weaponry. We fight and sue videogame developers for developing such games and selling them to the public… who sues the government (of whichever country) for making such machinery? Who sues the developers of these tangible murderers? Do we even know who they are?

At the end of the day, the story remains the same. Boys will be boys and they will always want to build bigger, badder toys to play with – The more destruction their toy causes the more of “a man” they r. But boys, look around you – your playmates are dwindling! We all know, it's no fun playing with bots!